Saturday, February 5, 2011

Empath

I've been thinking of HEROES lately. Yes, the loved & hated TV show. Specifically, been thinking about Peter Petrelli. At his core, he was someone that truly cared about people. He always wanted to help others, even if he really didn't know him. And when he couldn't do anything, he'd feel helpless.

I guess that's how I've been feeling lately: helpless. Someone I care about deeply recently made a decision that I felt was the wrong one. No, it wasn't anything life threatning...but still, left me a bit sad. Knowing the person how I do, I felt it so much in me that it was a bad move. And I told them as much, too. But as another friend told me, sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes so they can learn from them.

Who knows, maybe I'm wrong and they know what they are doing. But then why can't I shake this feeling in my gut? Why is it affecting me so much? Hell, I almost just hope I'm totally wrong so that they end up just being ok. But I don't know, something just tells me things aren't right there. And still, all I can do is take a step back and just be there for the person if they should need me.

It's tough. Genuinely worrying so much about someone. Being sad about my own feelings I've pretty much learned how to deal with over the years. But when it comes to people I know and care about, and not being able to do anything, it's frustrating. And I've noticed it changing me in some ways. It's been making me easily frustrated, angry and snapping at people. That's not me. Truth is, sometimes I don't know who I am anymore.

I pray and hope that they know what they are doing. That for once my instincts are way off. But I don't know...I usually have good judge of character and learn when to trust my instincts. Something just tells me it isn't right... :(

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