This Life, This World

I was reading up on some older entries from a friend's blog this morning. There was one post in particular that caught my attention and left me thinking. He was talking about the idea of a "perfect world." One in which there was no hurt, no suffering, no hopelesness. The idea of a world where the future was bright and things were nice and calm, everything in it's place.

This is what I responded:

I just read this specific post right now for the first time. Your descriptions about this "perfect world" really got me thinking about it and at first, my initial answer was just going to be "no thanks". As "perfect" as that would would seem, sometimes it's the tiny imperfections in the world, the random differences in people, the varied emotions we experience, the ups and downs, and the unexpected that really make a life worth living. Of course, with all those things will come a good part of the "good" variety but also the "bad." Nobody likes the bad, but that's just how it is. Not to get all Buffy-geeky now, but like she said, "The hardest thing in this world...is to live in it." So I'll rather have this imperfect world...and hope for the best.

Still...I can't help but wonder, what if I'd read this post at another time, like say...around 2005...a time when I was going through tough times? I probably would've wanted that "perfect" world in a heartbeat.

There have been at least two speicif points in my life where I almost felt like giving up. The first time I was feeling lost in life. Didn't know where I was headed. The second time I was feeling brokenhearted and didn't know how to cope. In both instances, being in this body, in this world, feeling what this heart and soul felt were just hurting so much. I felt lost, confused, scared, lonely and so much more. At those points...I think I would've asked for that perfect world. I would've wanted all these feelings to go away and in their place be given nothing but the best life had to offer. But that's just being greedy and lazy isn't it? To want the good things in life, to just expect them, and not work toward them. A good relationship, a nice job/career, great friends, loving family, happy life...all those things take lots of work. Day in and day out. We need to deal with life's everyday challenges, and do our best to learn and grow. The world will never be perfect, but we can do our best to make it as best as can be.

I feel like I've learned so much in the past several years. Not just about myself, but about other people. I have seen the good (and the bad) that there is in others. I've learned how to appreciate the good, and how to protect mysel from the bad. I've always tried to be the best person I can be, but even I can't be perfect. I'll have moments when I forget who I am, who I want to be, and may become a different person for a bit. A person I never want to be. I've seen it happen before. And I hope I don't become that person again. I've got plenty of love to give, to my family, my soul mate and my friends. That's one thing I feel brings that feeling of "perfectness" to the world. Love.