Sick :(

I've been trying my best to figure out how to keep busy so I won't have too much time to think and be sad. I think that's why the night hours are the toughest. That's when it all gets quiet and I have time to think. I think about him. And I miss him... a lot. But then today I wake up with a stomach ache and sore body (from the couch-sleeping). Been feeling it all day. Have only eaten a light sandwich and some gatorade. Now I kind feel warm/feverish. Doesn't make it better that it's freakin' cold tonight! So the only time I left the house today was for a brief Target run. Needed to get a few things for the week. But even then it felt weird. I missed him being there with me as we shopped. Even before we lived together we'd often meet up just to do our weekly shopping errands together. I was thinking of hitting the gym too, at least to distract myself, but my body was just so weak. :(



Tomorrow I return to work after being away for six days to deal with the move. I'm nervous. I don't know what to expect. Even the work day routine will be different now. I won't get to have my morning cereal with him as we go to work. I won't get to go to the apt and have dinner and talk about our days. And even just being at work is gonna be tough. Hopefully people just leave me alone. I don't want to deal with them too much. Makes me grumpy and bitter and not who I want to be when I'm in a down mood and want to be left alone.

I realize I sound like a broken record, but I miss my best friend. I really do, so much. :( Despite having lost a relationship I cherised, we still had a bond of best friends...of family. We've been through so much together. We grew from college students to mature adults. I need him in my life still. I know in my mind it's only temporary...this short time apart....but it's so tough. I think about him/us in almost anything I see/do! Today, as I drove to the Target, I noticed a Denny's across the street from it. It was where we had a late night bite to eat on the very first time we met. I could still remember it clearly. I find myself missing more and more the part of him that was...IS...my best friend. I haven't seen him since Friday morning. Haven't heard his voice. Haven't laughed in response to his own laughter. Just talked a bit via text but even that's not the same.

I love and appreciate all the love and support I've received from all my friends. It's meant a lot to me. But it's tough knowing that my best friend is the one I can't reach out to for now. :(