On Blogging

I think I'm a "sad blogger". Let me explain...

Things are going good right now in my life. I won't say "perfect" because I don't believe in that. Nothing can ever truly be perfect. There's always going to be at least a few things, even if miniscule, that'll probably bug you. Right now, for instance, I'd probably say it's my job. I don't hate it or anything, but I just keep feeling like it might be time for me to start moving on to the next job. Where that is, I'm not sure. I don't really even know what it is I want to do. All I know is I love entertainment/media related companies and I like to work in an office. Luckily I live in L.A., entertainment capital, so there's lots of choices. But I'm going on a tangent now...that's not what I was going to talk about.

I was thinking about what motivates me to write. Looking back at the blogs and diaries I've kept in the past, I noticed that I tend to write more when I'm feeling sad, lost, depressed, confused, scared or other similar feelings. Feelings that drive me crazy and eat me up and I just need to let out. Writing became an outlet. Through my words, I could share what was going on inside me and not feel so alone. I welcomed the comfort and support of the kind words of my friends (and some times random readers). At one point I was even writing on an actual paper diary, which I hadn't done in a while!

Luckily, things got calm over time. Several aspects of my life that were troubling me started to finally come together. I got happier. And then some of the blogs stopped. I still wrote, but just not as often. I usually wrote when I did something like going on a trip, things I wanted to remember. But I didn't really write too much about all the "feelings" of love, joy, happiness, etc. So why is it that I'm more motivated to jot down the darker sides of my feelings....and not the happier ones? Maybe it's because when I'm happy, I'm out there doing those happy things? Whereas when I'm sad, I'm at home in my dark room with nothing else to do? Or perhaps it's just that those feelings of sadness were aching to get out, to be released, in hopes of feeling better. It was my therapy.

I want to try to write more again. Even if just about random silly things that happen. It's a bit hard to keep up with this. I get caught up with doing other things and then forget about this blog. But I want to write things down again. Hell, my memory's not getting any better as I grow older! LOL It'd be nice to have somethign to look back on down the road.