The Last 5 Months, Give or Take

Where do I begin? :)

A lot has changed lately and I wanted to write down some random thoughts, reflections & feelings along the way, but turns out there were many things to do and not always enough time to do them. So instead, I'll just do an all-in-one blog post going back to the last few months. hehe

I guess the big changes all started back in June, last year...June of 2009. I was driving to the gym and received a text, saying something like "...I'm ready to move in together." It was a surprise, to say the least! I'd known for a long while that I could see myself living with Juan, especially since at the time I was already visiting him at least twice during the workweek (and sleeping over) and then most of the weekends. So much to the point that my mom would jokingly call me "the visitor" whenever I'd come back home. lol So that night we talked about it all and more in the coming days. I was a bit nervous, not about the actual move, since I did feel ready for that. I was ready to start a new phase of my life with someone I love and to start learning more responsibility and how to manage things out on my own. I loved living at home, had a wonderful relationship with my family and there was never any drama. I didn't feel like I had to leave because I was intruding...it was more just me feeling ready to start this new stage. The hardest part for me was telling my family, especially my mom. I knew it was gonna be toughest on her. It usually is, right? Especially since I'm her first born and only son. Back when I first came out to her, she said "You'll always have a home here." And I always felt that love.

After our first initial moving in together talks, we kinda got a bit sidetracked in the summer and didn't look into apartments as much. Mostly because Juan was on summer break and didn't want to spend it all alone in the new apartment. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of also sidetracking my conversation about moving ou with my family. Flash forward a few months later, October. We started getting more serious again about looking for apartments. So then I finally had the talk with my family. It was tough telling my mom. I didn't know when/where was the right time. So I just kinda brought it up one night as she was washing dishes. I could tell she was a bit sad right after hearing it. It broke my heart, but I knew I had to do it, and I knew even then that it was just gonna take time and eventually (like right now, in the present) things would feel better. That same night when my dad got home (he was out on some errand) I told him about it too. He took it better (at least it seemed) and said that he understood, that there always comes a point where we all have to go out on our own. He had to do it and so did my mom, both at even younger ages and off to a whole new country, too! Me, I was just moving a 10 min good-traffic drive across the city. I had it easy. hehe

So in the coming weeks we looked through several ads and postings and hit up a few open houses. We agreed on the Culver City general areas, since it was a convenient/nice area that was between both our jobs. Having never lived in an apartment or done apartment hunting, I didn't know exactly what to look for. One of the very first apartments we looked at really struck us. It was a nice building, small & quiet, didn't have that hotel feel to it, and the apartment itself looked roomy, clean and full of closets & storage. But like any smart purchase, you should never just go with the first thing you like. We looked around at some more apartments. Some were ok but just something about them didn't strike us. Others were just kinda crappy! Our main concern was to just have a nice, clean apartment that wasn't completely falling apart. I know that you'll never really have the PERFECT apartment. There's gonna be a crack here, a missing piece there, etc. But we wanted something nice, and after seeing several choices that one apartment we saw at the beginning was still standing out among the picks. So we went back for a second look. There were actually two apartments vacant, the one we saw was downstairs so we checked out the upstairs one this time. We loved that one even more! In the end, that's the one we got! :)

It was the Monday after the AIDS Walk that we made it official. I took the day off from work so I could take care of business. We went to the apartment's management offices in Santa Monica to speak to the man who we had sent in the initial application to. I think we caught him at a bad time because he seemed to have some kind of attitude. He told us if we wanted it at the current price we'd have to bring him the money (cashier's check) that same day. As we left briefly to the bank, we were left with a bad vibe from that man. But I told Juan, "Don't let his attitude affect our decision, after today we probably don't even have to see him anymore." So we brushed his attitude aside, got our check, went back and turned it in. Signed the dotted lines, got the keys and voila! We were now officially the apartment's new tenants! And yes, that man had a better attitude then. hehe

A day or two later I picked up the new set of keys from our apartment and I started to move some of my stuff in little by little, as much as I could fit in my car trunk. I'd keep it in my parking garage at work and then drive it to the apartment during lunch (it's just a 15 mins or so drive). I did that most of that week during the day, and then at night we'd go look at furniture stores together. We needed to get some of the basic furnishings (bed, dressers, table, chairs, sofas, tv stand, etc). We were starting from scratch. We needed a fridge too, so I went to buy one while Juan went to pick out the sofas. Teamwork!

That next weekend we came into the apartment early on Saturday, October 24th, to wait for some of the furniture to be delivered. We ended up spending our first night in our new apartment that day, since we had a bed now. The next few weeks was spent doing a lot of random shopping sprees at the markets, Targets and other stores, buying anything we needed, from laundry baskets to trash cans to cooking utensils to cleaning supplies to....well, you get the idea. Fortunately we both had some savings to use, too. It seemed like a lot of spending but I knew it was only a one-time-period kind of deal. It's not like we could take all that stuff away from our family's homes. lol So we had to get a lot of things from the start. But once we had them, down the road the spending would be cut down to just the weekly necessities (food, restocking, etc.).

It took a couple months but eventually we reached a point where it felt like things were finally settled in. It felt like the moving process was finally done! Even now though, I know we still have lots of empty walls and a few empty corners that we can put stuff, but we have the main stuff we needed. We'll get more things along the way as time & money permit. We both have ideas of what we wanna do, but I guess we've been enjoying actually LIVING in our apartment now that we keep forgetting to work on more of the decorating. hehe Anyone know an interior decorator that will work for cheap? I'll feed him/her. hehe

Oh and speaking of feeding....there's the whole new world of cooking that I've been exploring! lol I don't particularly enjoy cooking...it's just another chore to me! But the end result is fun. Knowing that something I made is going into my man's tummy and making him happy is worth it! hehe I'm not good at making creative dishes with all kinds of spices and exotic tastes. My meals tend to be more basic. A couple of ingredients here and there thrown together. hehe But oh well, as long as we don't just have to eat sandwiches and frozen meals. :) Just this past week I made some spaghetti and fettucini alfredo, and some burgers and bbq chicken in the past weeks too. All pretty basic stuff, but we both love them. I need my own little Remy the rat to help me out!

So overall it's been a wonderful experience living together. Like any other couple we both have our grumpy moments. But we just take our time-outs and one goes to the bedroom while the other goes to the living room, and with time we miss each other and it's all forgiven. hehe But we've never been the couple to have huge serious fights, just random little silly arguments that are just as quickly forgotten. :) Along with the new apartment came new responsibilities: bills, laundry, ironing, cleaning, groceries, etc. More chores and work than before, but bring it on I say! So far we've managed to keep up with bills, not ruin any laundry, not burn my clothes and I've kept the house clean. So far, so good! We haven't met all our neighbors just yet, but the ones we did so far have been nice & friendly. It took some getting used to the new area too. Parking anywhere you go around here can be a challenge, but we find ways around it. I do like how there's more variety of people around here. Nothing against my East LA people, but it's nice running into people from all over around here. Whenever we go to the stores and markets I always hear random accents. Plus, lots of handsome guys too. hehe

The fact that I can sit down and write this blog means that things are more settled now. The whole hectic period of moving in and setting up finally passed and we can relax and enjoy our time now. We've had a few people over already and I still want to have more friends come by. I can't wait! But being the clean freak that I am, don't be surprised if you see me with a little dust pan walking behind you. LOL j/k

So I'm happy. I love our apartment, love the area and am as excited as ever for this new stage. I hope that the coming months & years are as good as ever, not just for us, but for our families and all our friends.

I think I hear the all too familiar sound of the Wii being turned on in the living room now! Time to log off and head on out there! :)

I Miss Blogging

It's been a good two months since I last posted anything here. Truth is, I've been pretty busy. Work's going well, each day keeps me busy from clock-in to clock-out. Apartment life with Juan is going great, it's been an exciting new experience and I'm loving it! Family is doing good, and though I do miss seeing them daily like I used to, I know it was time to move out on my own and explore life. Over the past year there've been several changes and in the end they were for the best. It was at this time last year when I found out I was being laid off soon. It was a scary time, and I couldn't have known how things were going to work out. Fortunately, they worked out nicely thus far and I hope they continue to do so.

There's so much I'd love to write about. I'll hopefully make more time for it now and then. Even if nobody reads this anymore....just for myself. :)

Where Do We Go From Here?

Last Saturday night we had some nice, fun plans. Go out for a couple of drinks and just enjoy the night at some of the local bars in West Hollywood. Living closer to the area, it's just a short drive on the streets. So we got ready and head on out. We arrived to the area and park in our usual valet parking lot. "We close at 2:30," the guy tells us. Ok, fine with us. They kick us out of the bars before 2 anyway. So we had a couple margaritas at Fiesta Cantina, ran into our friend Carlos celebrating his birthday and made a couple of random new friends along the way. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours and before we knew it...closing time. We didn't have to go home but we can't stay there (at the bar) as the song would say. hehe

It was 2:00 already, as I kept looking at the time on my cell, keeping track of how soon we had to head back to the car. While walking along the sidewalk we started talking to some random people, accompanied them to a pizza place, talked about travels and whatnot...and before I knew it, I looked at the time. 2:40 am! Dammit! "We gotta go get the car, think they'll still be there?" Turns out...they weren't kidding with the original "we close at 2:30" warning!

We got back to the parking lot and my car was just one of a few left! The little valet parking kiosk was all locked up now, nobody in sight. :( Hopeful, I went and tried to open the doors to my car. Maybe they left my keys in there? lol Part of me wanted it to be so, but part of me would've also thought it was irresponsible of them. There was only enough irresponsibility that night on our part! lol



We were pretty much stuck. Juan had left his keys at home. My house keys were with the car keys. We didn't go out with others that night and even if we did get a ride home we couldn't go inside! Juan called the number on the valet's sign, and they said we'd have to come back the next day...at 2pm! So we had no choice...we went to a hotel a few blocks down, the Ramada, and spent the night. It was actually nice and comfy! Not the cheapest, but hey, we couldn't be too picky. Though walking in there did feel a bit awkward. Two guys, no luggage, no car, walking into a hotel at 3am in a mostly gay area. Hmmm....what could the front desk have thought? lol

As night-out-drinking stories go, this one is way too tame when compared to others I've heard about. lol We didn't have to sleep in the park or anything. Phew! We ended up leaving the hotel at around almost 1 pm the next day, after having had a good night's rest. It did suck we didn't have any toothpaste or contact solution, etc. At least we were able to shower! We then had a nice filling breakfast at the IHOP nearby and finally picked up our car keys...12 hours after the bars closed the night before, and an extra $15 day fee later!

Good times. :)

AIDS WALK L.A. - One Year Later

First off, before anything else, I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone that supported me and our team during and leading up to the AIDS WALK L.A.

To the following, thank you so much for sponsoring me this year... Peter, Reyna & Family, Hypnos Reveur, Christian, Francisco, Juan, Kevin & Marcial. I appreciate your support (and your dinero!), as do those that it goes toward helping. And to Gabe, thanks for the team donation. And everybody else that donated to any other member of our team, you all rock!
And to our team this year, Friends 4 Benefits (aka Friends With Benefits), thank you all for making this, our fourth year, another successful one! I had set a team goal of $4,000 this year, and we got pretty close. As of the last numbers given to me, we raised $3,295 with a team of 28. Though some of you didn't or couldn't make the walk. Tsk tsk! lol Next year, then!

Special kudos to those that made it this year for the 6 mile walk! Anthony A., Ramiro C., Xavier E., Andy G., Oscar G., Juan G., William H., Juan L., Xavier M., Craig M., Richard R., Connie R., Adolfo R., Miguel T. Thank you all for walking this year! I expect each of you back, plus many more, for year 5! FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT5! ;)

I wasn't able to dedicate as much time this year as I would've wanted putting the team together, but I did my best. Whenever I had time, I tried to promote it, spread the word, recruit, encourage and at the same time still try to get some donors for myself. hehe It was all worth it though, and I'll do it again! All the support and positive energy from everybody is what makes it all worth it for a great cause. Just being there, surrounded by thousands upon thousands of fellow walkers on that one morning...and knowing we are all there for a united cause...that alone, is totally worth it.

Thanks again everyone!
-Nel

Vegas, Continued...

So let's see, where did I leave off on our Vegas trip. Oh yeah...Juan was taking a nap while I wrote the first blog online. hehe

After his short nap, we got dressed up for the night. Juan was looking way more "fierce", as he'd put it, than I was. I regret not having packed something nicer to dress up. hehe Lots of people were looking all nice and fancy dressing up for the night out on the strip. But then again, a bunch of them end up drunk and wasted by the end of the night looking like total messes. lol Anyway...the plan was to check out the Madame Tussauds wax museum out at The Venetian, then have dinner near there and hit a bar or club after.

Since we had Juan's car there, he decided he'd drive it that night. Our mistake was taking Las Vegas Blvd to get to the Venetian at the other end of the strip. We were staying near the southern end while the museum was located at the northern end. Trying to get to that traffic on the strip took a long time! We had to make it before it closed at ten, and we had just over an hour left. Once we finally got the the Venetian we missed the parking lot entrance (it was confusing...so many cars, people, lights, turns, etc.), so we had to work our way back again. In the end we figured it was too late for the museum but we'd go in and park anyway, at least to get dinner. After we parked we walked over to the museum to at least know where it was at, hoping we could visit it the next morning. But fortunately, turns out the 10:00 closing time I saw online was wrong! They closed at 11:00 that day, so we still had time. We went in and had a fun time taking pictures with all the celebrities, including the one and only Buffy! hehe

After the museum we grabbed a bite to eat (and shared at Margarita) at a Mexican place in the food court. It was pretty good. We then just went back to the car and drove to one of the gay clubs nearby. We ended up going to the Piranha / 8 1/2 Lounge. I guess it's two clubs in one or something. Turned out the cover charge was $20, which kinda seemed a bit too much since we weren't sure if we'd even like the place. Just as we started to walk away from the line, this black drag queen diva calls to us, asking us why we were leaving. "Is it the price? A bit much?" Juan tells her that we at least want to check out a few of the nearby free spots first. So she says, "We run the place across the street too (Gypsy), but look at our line and look at theirs. Trust me, you'll be back. And when you are, I can get you in for $10 each." We take her up on the offer and go check out Gypsy. The diva was right! Place was dead empty. We walk right back out and go back to her club. She takes us to the front of the line and gets us in as her special guests. She was so nice! The place itself was pretty cool. We just danced a bit and chilled. Didn't drink anymore so we wouldn't be feeling out of it the next morning, especially since Juan had a long drive ahead. After the club we just decided, to call it a night. Juan was especially tired so we went back to the room and had our final good night of rest in our comfy bed.

We woke up at 10 the next morning, Sunday, and right away went down and hit the pools for one final time. Even at 10 in the morning they were already full of people and the water felt so nice and warm. We took a few pictures and chilled then just went back to the room at 11:30 to shower up and pack. Check out time was 12:00, and it was a breeze to check out, quick & easy. Overall, our stay at the Four Seasons was definitely a wonderful experience. Very clean, beautiful, friendly staff and overall warm welcoming environment. Definitely would recommend it if you ever want to stay there, especially for a romantic couples retreat! :)

After we checked out we hit the lunch buffet one more time, at Excalibur, and then hit the road back to L.A. We left at 2 and arrived to L.A. by 7, this time not stopping at all. (Thanks Juan for driving us!) The road trip itself, even during traffic jams, is a nice experience. Just spending time together, enjoying the music, conversations and views.

It was tough having to see the weekend come to an end, but I truly enjoyed every single second of it. And here comes the lovey mushy stuff, so those of you not into that, tune away... lol Despite the nice hotel, relaxing pools, soothing sauna and all the goodies...what truly makes this, and every other vacation, so memorable is just getting to spend the time with Juan. That's what I love most in the end and means so much to me. Which is why seeing it end and having to part ways with him for a while is always tough. But I always look back on these memorable trips and feel happy, looking forward to the next ones, wherever they may take us. Love you sweetie!

Oh and one more thing...just wanted to mention my two favorite funny moments on this trip. One was when we were at the wax museum and met up with Johnny Depp. His figure had this stare going on, so I told Juan to stare him down, eye to eye, for the pic. But he looked almost way too real, especially the eyes, and it freaked Juan out a bit and he just didn't want to get up close to him. LOL Eventually he finally did, but it was just funny seeing him not want to stare him down, eventhough we knew he wasn't real. :) The other funny moment was of my own doing... We had arrived at our hotel's spa locker room, because we were going to hit the sauna. They gave us each a locker key and when I went to mine I saw a robe, towel, sandals, razor and a bag in there. I quickly closed it and said "Someone's stuff is in there!" To which Juan replied, "It's yours!" LOL Usually when I open a locker at the gym with stuff in it, it belongs to someone else that just didn't lock it. So I guess just by experience I didn't think right away that it was my stuff that they were letting me use. hehe

Greetings From Vegas

It's past 7:30 right now, Saturday night. I find myself here in Vegas for the third time, with Juan. I remember the first time we visited together we stayed at Circus Circus...probably the cheapest on the strip of the big hotels...and I did a lot of the touristy stuff, even buying souvenirs. lol I had a good time. The second time we went was for Juan's Bday and we were joined by some friends. Now this, our third time, was the first time we (well, HE) drove to Vegas rather than fly. We left Friday afternoon at around 2:30 and arrived around 7:30 (with a brief stop at a Barstow Baja Fresh to eat). It was a fun drive, we just listened to music and enjoyed the scenery (when there was some) and enjoyed each others company.

We're staying at the Four Seasons this time, 39th floor, located above the Mandalay Bay, which we absolutely love! The room is really nice, clean, beautifully decorated and has everything we could need! And the view from the floor to ceiling windows is sweet! We overlook the pools (both the Four Seasons and the Mandalay Bay) as well as the southern end of the Strip, an airport and the city view along the 15 Fwy and beyond. This isn't our exact room, but it's pretty much the same:



After we arrived we chilled in the room a bit, freshened up and then headed out for a lil walk along the strip. We didn't end up going to any clubs or stuff like that, so we just grabbed a quick McD's bite and picked up some water and snacks to bring back to the room. (We may be staying in a nice room but we ain't paying more $$$ for snacks we could get for 1/5 the price elsewhere! lol)

This morning we woke up and hit the Buffet over at the Excalibur. We had a nice breakfast which has so far fueled us along the whole day! It's nearly 8 now and I'm barely starting to feel hungry. (Wake up Juan!!! Time to start getting ready to head on out!!!) After we ate, we changed into our pool attire and went down to check out our hotel's private little pool. It was nice and all, but seemed to be more to just lay back in a chair and be waited on. Hmmm...don't know about Juan, but it's not really my thing. hehe So I suggested we just head over to the pools nex to ours, the Mandalay Bay, which we get to use for free as guests of the Four Seasons. They have a big wave pool, a lil river area, a hot jacuzzi, a regular pool, etc. We hit each of them and soaked in some sunshine. Loved it!!! Right after that we went to our hotel's Spa and freshened up in their Sauna area. So nice and relaxing. We felt all refreshed after that.

So now we're here in our room, planning what's up for tonight. I'm about to wake Juan from his trademark nap so we can see where we're heading to next. I want to check out the wax museum too, just for fun, then from there we'll see what's next...

Summer Holiday

Hello there, my sweet lil blog. Missed me?

Haven't had much time these past couple of months to dedicate to my blog entries. But I've tried to stop by every now and then. Such as now. :)

I'm looking forward to this weekend because Juan and I are heading out of town and hitting up Las Vegas! Woohoo! If my math is correct, this should be our third time going there together. We're staying at the Four Seasons this time, definitely moving on up! LOL So that'll be a new experience. From what we read, it looks like I should expect them to treat us like kings (or queens? loL). Sounds nice but I'm not reallly the type that likes to be waited on too much, sometimes I'd much rather be left alone until I call someone for assistance. So we'll see how that goes. The hotel looks really nice and fancy though, so should be a great time! I'm sure we'll be spending lots of time in the pools cooling off from the heat, too. We're also driving out this time, for the first time. We've flown the other times. So it'll be like a road trip, too. I can't wait! We'd been wanting to do a weekend getaway all Summer, especially Juan being on vacation for weeks, but it never panned out...until now!

Just have to make it through the final work day first and then we're off! I've asked to get out at 1:00 tomorrow, to be home no later than 2:00 and then we can head off, hopefully avoiding some traffic. I've packed most of my stuff already, but still can't help feeling like I'm forgetting something or I should pack certain clothes instead of what I did pack. I always hate packing...takes me forever and can be stressful in some way. LOL But once we're on our way, the point of no return, it's relaxing and I love it! The only bad part of it all...that moment when it's time to come back home. hehe

I've been going through some bad sleep patterns. Some days I stay up super late but then pay for it the next day when I can't stay awake at night and knock out super early. So tonight I'll do my best to go to sleep no later than 11. That's an hour away! Grrrr. Guess I should log off this too. I'll watch my next Smallville Season 3 episode and then go to sleep after that, assuming I don't knock out during it! I do that...a lot.

Slow Down!

As I pulled into my usual underground parking spot at work, deep down in the lowest of the lower levels, I saw a guy drive past me in his car heading to wherever his parking spot is. Wait...scratch that...he didn't drive by me...he SPED by me! Our parking lot has a bunch of tight turns and blind spots where it'd be easy to get into an accident. So I try my best to always watch out for cars and drive slow. The speed limit says 5 MPH...but seriously, I doubt anyone really drives THAT slow. I just drive within a reasonable safe speed.

Anyway...back to this man. When I saw him speeding down the small little lane in the parking structure, it just shocked me (and probably annoyed me a bit too). A few minutes later I walk into the elevator to take me upstairs and that same man walks in right behind me. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but laugh a bit on the inside. Why? Because in his hand, all bunched up and held tightly, he had a small Red Bull shot bottle, a "Five Hour Energy" bottle, and three energy bars! Seriously! Just seeing him drive, I figured this guy definitely shouldn't have more energy! :)

Quarantined Weekend

Last Friday I woke up at Juan's and he tells me, "You feel really warm this morning." But I actually felt normal, so I dismissed it as nothing more than my body temperature feeling warm because I had just woken up.

The day at work went by without a hitch. Though I did notice I started to feel a bit less energized as the day grew on. I didn't think much of it, just thought it was my body getting lazy because it knew the weekend was coming. hehe But then when I got into my car to drive home, I really started to feel it. I felt tired, my body was heating up and I felt small headache-like symptoms. Soon as I got home, I was a goner. I had no energy, I just crashed into my bed and wanted to relax. The worse part...I had to cancel plans with Juan to go out and hang with friends that night. I was the one that invited him out and so I felt bad having to cancel, but I was in no condition to be out. :(

I spent that night just resting, and Juan actually ended up coming over later that night after his attempt to go out on his own kinda went downhill too. The next morning, Saturday, I still felt a bit weak but slowly getting better. We just hung out and relaxed in my room, at one point making a quick trip to the mall. While at the mall I started to feel some chills again, so I knew I'd have to just take it easy the rest of the night. Again, couldn't go out. :( So Juan went back to his place and I just stayed in bed to try and get better. That was the whole deal on Sunday as well, I literally spent the whole damn day in bed. Didn't even shower! For me to spend the whole day in bed and not shower....that's really saying something! I don't like wasting my weekends just in bed. And I can never start my days without a good shower. hehe

This morning I woke up feeling mostly better. Just have a lingering cough still, but hopefully that's the last of it and I'll be back to normal soon. Though I'm glad I seem to be getting better, I do hate that my weekend was pretty much ruined by all this. I work through each week looking foward to the weekends, my time to really relax, enjoy my free time, live my life the way I want with my loved ones...and I was stuck in bed. Under quarantine, as Juan jokinly put it. hehe What sucks too is that I knew Juan wanted to go out that weekend, having gone through his first week of Summer break without doing much, so he was looking forward to spending time with me on the weekend. But I was pretty much useless this time around as a source of fun times. :(

So let's all send me some good get-well vibes so I can get back to 100% for this upcoming holiday weekend!

The Big Move

Last Wednesday, as I was driving from work, headed to the gym, I received a text message. It began with the words, "I'm prepared to move in with you..." It was from Juan, of course.

We met exactly 7 1/2 years ago. And in that time we've always been close, from the very first day. Sure we had our little bumps in the road, but everyone usually does. We worked through them all and learned a lot from them, which allowed us both to grow as individuals but more importantly as a couple. Now I feel...WE feel...that we've reached an important point. That point where we truly understand each other and accept each other for who we are.

Over these years the closest we got to living together was when we'd go on vacation and spend days in a hotel together, or when our families would be out of town and we'd have either of our houses to ourselves. (Yes, we both still live with our families...we're Latinos...we have a ticket to do so 'til old age if we choose, right? lol) Often during those moments I would think to myself how it'd be nice if it were always like that, to have a place to call our own. Lately, we've been spending even more time sleeping over at either of our houses, even more so than we used to. I would usually only come over on Thursday nights, a sort of tradition, and then we'd spend more time on the weekend together. But then I think it was when Juan's car was in the shop that I started to sleep over a few more days in the week, to give him rides. And it felt so nice, to be able to see him more often. It got to be tough on those nights where I had to sleep alone in my room at home. I missed him. And on mornings like today, Monday, it's even tougher. Knowing I just had a beautiful weekend with him and now have to go to work and will be alone tonight, it kinda sucks. But I know that we can change that. Of course it's not just about not wanting to be alone at night that we're talking about moving in together. It's about us feeling that we're both ready for that next step.

I'd always felt I would definitely want to move in with him. I've known for a while he's the one. I know that for Juan, it took some searching, mostly within him, and through us, to eventually realize I was the only one for him, and now that he's ready to find a place we can call home together. I'm ready too. It's a big step for us, but I know that together we can make it work and be happy. So we've been thinking about it now, places we might want to live in, what kind of apartments, what furniture we'd take and what we'd buy new, what our price ranges would be, who would do what chores, and so on. We're just starting out. We don't have an exact date set yet. There's no huge rush or deadline. Hopefully before year's end if things work out. I feel it's gonna be a bit of a bigger transition for me, since I've known no other home but the one I live in for all my life. It's my family's home. Soooo many memories there. Plus I still need to have that talk with them and tell them my plans. I know they'll probably be a bit sad, but I hope they'll understand. I know I'll probably be a bit sad as well, having to leave, but in the end I know I'm making the right choice.

I love Juan. He loves me. We're both done searching, we know we're meant for each other....and we're finally ready for the big move. I'm excited!

Love You!

A few weeks back, when I was looking for a new job, I received a call from this one place that I had applied for (not the one I ended up working at now, btw). I wasn't able to pick up, so they left a message. When I was able to call them back, they didn't answer, and so I left a message for them this time. "...I'm returning your call...blah blah blah...interested in the job...blah blah blah..." And as a closer, I was just about to say "Love you!", but fortunately I caught it right in the nick of time and stopped myself from saying it.

Why would I say that!? Well, I'm not really a huge phone guy. Don't really like to talk on the phone much, I'd rather just meet up with people when given the chance. But the person I do talk to daily is my bf. And I usually end my calls or voicemails to him with a heartfelt "Love you!" I guess I was used to ending voicemails to him this way that it almost slipped out when I was leaving the voicemail for that job recruiter. Imagine if I hadn't caught myself in time and DID end up saying that in the voicemail!? I don't know what I would've done if I couldn't erase it. I think I'd be too embarrassed to have called them back. lol What would you have done? :)

Busy Bee

Oh, hello there blog. Miss me lately? :)

Been busy at work actually WORKING. Who knew that some jobs really do require you to work all day and not be online? I never would've guessed! LOL But I think I've fallen into place already and gotten used to my new work routines. One good thing about being busy all the time is my work day goes by quickly for the most part. But since I can't be online much I don't get to do my daily social online updates like I used to. Awwww....I know you all miss it. Right?!?!?! :)

But I'll pop in here and there, on the blog and other sites, whenever I can. This weekend is the Memorial Day weekend so it's a 3 day weekend. Woohoo! Been enjoying it by relaxing. We went out Friday to our usual, Circus, and after that just been chilling at my house. We watched two DVDs Juan picked yesterday (Notorious and Bride Wars), hit the gym and also had a nice dinner at our favorite Farmer Boys. Today we've just been relaxing, might head to the movies later (Terminator Salvation, perhaps). So I've definitely been enjoying the kickback weekend.

I'm finally at a nice, peaceful point again. Work is going well, three weeks into it. I've gotten the hang of most things now while still learning a few stuff along the way. The slightly longer commute on the drive home kinda sucks at times, but oh well. I'm just so grateful I was able to find a good job so quickly in these tough times. Maybe I'll allow myself to splurge just a little soon. I have been thinking about getting a TiVo. :) We'll see.

First Week

The first week at the new job went pretty well. Yeah, I was nervous, especially on the very first day, but little by little I'm learning my new responsibilities and getting used to the changes (new location, slightly longer commute, new people, etc.). I think I've already got everyone's names down, which isn't too difficult this time since we're only about 20 or so people there in the office. Everyone's been pretty cool and friendly, so that's always a big plus. Even as the week ended, I still felt a bit lost at times, trying to figure a few things out, but I know that's normal with any new job. Overall, it was a good start...for me, at least...I hope my bosses and co-workers think so as well. There were a lot of new things I needed to learn/remember, so it just takes me some getting used to. From what I've heard, it took my coworkers a while too...so at least knowing that helps me feel more confident that it's not just me. :)

Right now I'm just chilling at Juan's, enjoying this Sunday. The weekend's gone by way too fast, as is always the case. But I do my best to enjoy ever second of it. Hopefully this coming week goes just as well, if not better, and quicker too. Hopefully the nervous feelings I felt last week aren't around as much now that I have a few days under my belt.

I do feel I'm very lucky to have someone, Juan, that can help calm me down and comfort me and encourage me. There are times when I just tend to overthink things and make myself freak out too much for no reason. He was really helpful in making me feel calm and relax and remember to just take a deep breath and do my best. So if you read this, thank you!

Saturday Quickie

It's three o'clock on this Saturday. I'm sitting here waiting as Juan gets his haircut and then we're going to the gym and a friend's birthday night later on. As of this past Thursday I've technically been between jobs...my last day at my now 'old' job has come and gone and now I start at a new place on Monday morning. Must admit I'm definitely nervous...not that I think I will do bad or anything, just the whole new job, new responsibilities to learn and new people to meet can make me somewhat anxious and nervous. Soon enough I know I'll settle in and get used to the new work routine. It all just takes time. For now just relaxing and enjoying my weekend. We went to see the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie last night and I really enjoyed it...so go check it out!

Ok enough blogging for now...takes so long doing this from the mobile browser. lol

Last (full) Day At Work

It's finally arrived. My final full day working here. I can't believe it's been almost six years since I started here! Seems like so much has happened since then. Many people have come and gone from this company. We started out doing great, even opening a brand new store, things looked good. But you can never be too sure about the future of things, especially when it comes to businesses. Overall, it's been a nice run for me here. Might not have been the most glamorous job, but I made the best of it. I did my best and met/exceeded expectations on the job. I was able to learn about new music and movies that I might not have discovered otherwise. I was able to work with some cool people (despite my often keeping more to myself lol). And of course, can't forget the free lunches and musical guests we'd often have here in the office! How many companies will give you that! I was so fortunate to have been able to see many artists perform for us, up close and personal, in such a small intimate setting.

So yeah, I'll miss this place. And not just me, but many of the people that loved shopping at our stores, or even just browsing around and hanging out, which in itself could be fun. The future of the brick and mortar music store is uncertain. I hope that down the road it still remains, in one way or another, because there's just something about going to a store on a new release day and seeing what's out that can't be replaced by some clicks and scrolls on a web site.

Tomorrow is my official last day. I'm guessing I probably just come in for part of the day until I get my official paperwork, then I should be free to go. I don't deal with goodbyes so well. Always feels really awkward to me for some reason. I never know what to say. But at least I won't be the only one leaving tomorrow, so it's not like I'll stand out too much.

We have a little pizza lunch gathering today in one of the rooms here, I believe just for our dept, about a dozen or so people. Should be nice. A little awkward maybe since it's a celebration on the last full day for some of us. So it's a nice sentiment, but I just never really know what to say to people. Also, since I already have a job lined up, I feel a bit bad bringing it up to others that may not be so fortunate yet.

So we'll see how this day goes. Doing some small final cleaning up of my desk (and computer desktop), though I already did most of it little by little since I found out I had two months left back in February. There's really nothing much left for me to do, even in terms of actual work. It's all a matter of waiting now.

One door is closing while I head on to the next . . .

(Oh and about the image that accompanies this post...it's sort of an inside joke between Juan & I. hehe)

Dark Angel Summer

I got home this past Monday to a hot and stuffy room. I opened up the window and blinds to let some fresh air in. Being in that room, lights off and feeling hot, reminded me so much of the summer days. More specifically it reminded me of last summer, when I'd come home after work and relax in my room, a few clothes shed, cold drink at my side, fan running and watching my DVDs. That was the "Dark Angel summer." hehe I watched all my DVDs for that show during those hot summer nights when I didn't feel like doing much. (This was before I joined the gym.) Those were some nice relaxing times! :)

[ I originally wrote this post through my cell phone. Turns out that because my phone sends long texts as seperate parts, it was posted as seperate entries as well. lol So now I know, from now on, to keep my text message posts short & sweet. lol]

Texting Test

I think I'm finally able to text in my blog posts on my cheap little cell phone. This is a test. If you can see this post then it worked! Yay!

Two More Weeks

Where did this week go!? Despite having some slow days, the week overall seemed to go by fast. It's already Thursday afternoon...my "Friday" for this work week! I decided to use one final "personal day" off from work tomorrow. I don't have any solid plans set up yet, but I just really wanted to take a day. Plus, the workload has been pretty light lately, which is understandable considering our company is closing soon. Just two more weeks from today until my last day here! Scary! I've been able to relax a bit more lately now that I don't have to worry about the job hunting, which is good. But I know that as soon as that weekend comes, right before I start my new job, I'll probably be feeling a bit of stress. But it's the "good stress"! I'm the type of person that tends to overthink things, overplan and maybe worry a bit too much, especially if it's a significant change in my life like this new job! I get so used to my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly routines
...that whenever something new gets thrown into the mix, I need time to fully adjust. I'm sure that as long as I put my all into this new job, I should be fine. I know I'm a capable person, a quick learner and good problem solver. Those qualities weren't on my resumes just for filler, ya know! :)


I know that some of my coworkers still don't have a new job lined up, so I feel bad for them. I was having a tough time getting "noticed" by employers, too. Seems like now, more than ever, it really is about who you know...connections...when it comes to looking for a job. I just hope that eventually everyone is able to find something new. These are all good people. Eventhough I might not have always been the social type when it comes to work, I'll still miss seeing all these familiar friendly faces. Lately I find myself thinking back to the last almost six years I've been here. The people that have come and gone, the many fun in-office performances, the cool music I got to discover, the company picnics, the promo giveaways. Good times! It's been such a fun, casual work environment, and I loved that. I think I was spoiled in some ways, because chances are I probably will never find another workplace like this. :)

I'm glad my weekend is almost here. As I mentioned, I don't have any real plans yet, but I'm sure we'll figure something out. Last weekend was fun! It was Juan's 29th birthday weekend. So on Friday we went out to Circus and had a great time with some friends. The following afternoon we headed out to the Hollywood area, for a change. We rarely go out there. We hit the gym, visited the Walk of Fame area, had a nice dinner at CPK and then did some shopping at the Target. It was fun hanging out in that Walk of Fame area. We dressed up a bit more than we normally would and were taking pictures, just like the tourists. And just like the tourists, we even got harrassed by one of the "costumed people" there on the sidewalk. Some Charlie Chaplin guy pretty much threw himself into one of our photos and then took of his hat and asked for "a buck or two." Just to get rid of him, I threw in a buck. Then he looks at me with those beedy little eyes and holds up two fingers, to tell me he wants $2. Bastard! You said "a buck or two"...not "has to be two"! Ugggh. I just threw it in so he'd leave. lol So yeah...watch out for 'em. :)

That night, as we were paying at the Target store, I noticed two guys that were in a checkout line next to ours. They were holding a big bag of dog food and a big pack of toilet paper, among other things. As they got closer to us (one aisle beside us) I made brief eye contact with one of them. As soon as I saw those very distinguishable eyes and facial features, I knew I recognized him. Or rather, I knew he looked like someone. I took out my cell phone and typed into it, "kyle xy behind you", then showed it to Juan. Had I said it was Matt Dallas, he wouldn't know who I was talking about, that's why I went with his character's name instead. lol He turned around and then confirmed that it was him. At that moment I got excited. Up til then I just figured it looked like him but couldn't be him, because I never recognize people! A couple minutes later Juan overheard him say a few words and then gave me final confirmation that it really was him, because he recognized the voice from the TV show. I would've loved to be able to go up to him, say how much I liked his show (which I genuinely did, having watched it from day one til the final episode), and maybe even taken a picture. We'd left the brand new camera I'd picked out for Juan's birthday in the car, but even just a cell cam pic would've been nice. But Matt was paying for his stuff, doing his shopping, we thought it'd be too rude to bug him at that point. Had he just been walking down a aisle in the store and we bumped into each other...then maybe. It was fun seeing a celebrity I like though. I wonder what I'd do if I ever saw Sarah Michelle Gellar, my Buffy!

Oh and I finally got to see Slumdog Millionaire on Sunday. We watched it together in the morning, after having an early lunch, before hitting the gym. It really lived up to it's hype, such a good movie! And I loved the music. Might have to look into the soundtrack. :)

F My Life

We all have days where things just don't go our way. Something crappy, embarrassing, awkward or just plain strange happens to us. Often we try to just forget about those moments and move on. But why forget, when you can save them forever over at fmylife.com!? :)

I don't know what percentage of the entries on that site are real, but it doesn't matter. Some of them are quite funny! I spent a good few minutes reading through a bunch of them. If anything, next time you have a bad moment, you can just look at some of those entries and say, "could've been worse!"

Employed (Again)

Heard the good news?! I got a new job! I finally feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders!

Ever since that day in January, the Friday when half of the offices department's were laid off, shortly after we returned from our fun Vancouver trip, I've been a bit stressed and worried about what would happen next. Eventually, toward the end of February it became official that our company was going to be closing. They gave me a 2 month notice, with my last day to be at the end of April. That gave me at least two months to look for a new job. So all of March I was feeling especially nervous and stressed. The job market is tough right now. Seems like for every job opening there are hundreds of people applying! When I went on a job interview a few days ago, they literally had several interviews all going on at the same time. The hiring lady would go from person to person, checking up on each of us as we were doing different parts of the initial testing/screening processes.

Not knowing what my job future held also forced me to go on a tight budget. All my "wants" would have to be put on hold and I only allowed myself to purchase any "needs". Do you know how tough it was for me to see a new release DVD I really wanted (for example, Wonder Woman) and have to just walk away from it. Now I know what an addiction feels like. "Just say NO to DVDs." lol I also had to limit my outings a bit due to the money thing, but also because I was often feeling a bit bummed about the job thing and not really in much of a party mood. The whole car incident with Juan allowed me to spend more time at his place, which was actually a nice thing for me. Being with him, I was more relaxed, comfortable, happy and just able to forget my worries for those moments. And all this also made me a bit more distant from people. Because I wasn't going online as much as I used to (so I could use that time to focus on job hunts) and I wasn't really going out as much.

But now that I have a new job lined up, I feel so much more relieved! It's like a huge dark nagging cloud over my head has been whisked away! Sure, I know I'll be nervous once I start my new job in May. I always get a bit nervous during these types of big changes in my life. But I also know that eventually I'll settle in, get the hang of it, and then do great at the new place! For now, I can breathe again. I can feel more relaxed. I can allow myself a few treats (but not TOO much...shouldn't count all my chickens before they fully hatched hehe). I can finally feel some sense of calmness and normalcy again. There are a few other things I need to get to in my life, personal matters, but my main worry has been cleared for now.

And major thanks to you, Juan, for helping me get through this. Your support and encouragement meant a lot to me! You helped keep me together so I wouldn't lose my focus, and I really appreciate it!