Gay Marriages

There was a time in my life when I saw myself getting married. Living that so-called American Dream. Having a happy wife, a few smiling kids, a hyper dog running around the yard, which is surrounded by a white picket fence and situated behind a big house, with the sun shining bright in the distance, birds chirping in the trees, and two cars parked in the garage. Hmmm...well ok, maybe that wasn't exactly my dream. lol But I did believe I'd end up married with children. *cue theme song*

I always knew I had these "strange" feelings for other guys. Those thoughts I secretly carried about certain neighbors or classmates or just random people. They would always be just that, my secret thoughts. I'd grow up, move on past them, and finally realize how crazy I was to think such things. But oh how wrong I was. lol Call it confusion, denial or just a plain self-discovery process. In the end, I grew up to learn who I truly was and that there was nothing wrong with it. I discovered so many new people just like me, whereas before I felt like I was the only one that felt this way. I never would've imagined that in my city there were probably thousands that felt this way. Hell, I didn't even have to look too far. My own neighborhoods had others like me.

Now I'm grown up. I've gotten through most of those stages of confusion. I know who I am, no ifs ands or buts about it. But then new thoughts and questions arise. One of them being the big M word. Marriage. Some of us want it or need it, others don't really care, and the rest just don't want it at all. I think I probably fall in the middle somewhere. I wouldn't say that I don't want it at all, but I also wouldn't say that I "need" it. There's so much debate about all this, I really won't get into that. My thoughts on this are usually more on a personal level. Do I really need a piece of paper, a certificate, to prove my love? Yes, if legal, it would carry with it some legal "rights". But I'm not even talking about that. I guess the way I see it, if I truly love someone, that person knows it. My friends will know it. My family (if I can ever get the courage to tell them) will know it. That's all that would matter to me. So on that level, a marriage wouldn't matter as much. Still, I guess I can see why the whole ceremony itself is something people like. It is nice, it's special and memorable to share that moment with your friends and loved ones. But then there are all those issues of planning it, paying for it and dealing with all the dramas leading up to it. lol I'd much rather just do something quick and simple with a small group instead of a big event. I'm a romantic...but I like to keep it simple. hehe It's the little things that count.

So if gay marriages ever become equal with straight marriages, who knows where I'll stand. Will that change my feelings toward getting married? Maybe the new "rights" would convince me. hehe In the end, my love for him wouldn't change. I'd still love and cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, just as much as I did before any "I Do".